Wednesday, March 31, 2010

This Is What I Was Born To Do...

So, tonight was the first run-through (off-book) of Act I.

I must admit, when I first arrived at the rehearsal space, I was so nervous that I thought I was going to be sick. Literally. In my first song (which sets up the show and tells the audience who Queenie is), I sang that I was a singer in Vaudeville instead of a dancer. It could have seriously tanked from there, but I am in the midst of such a supportive cast and creative team that it didn't tank at all...and, as a matter of fact, it went better than I ever would have imagined. I left the rehearsal space utterly exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally, but also exhilarated and excited about next week in the theatre space.

As I've mentioned before, I am an actor who sings and moves, not (necessarily) a singer/dancer who acts. Musical theatre is not what I'm "known" for (if I'm known for anything at all), but I've always aspired to work in musicals. And now I'm getting my chance--and then some! I keep telling people, "I never shut up," and it's true; I sing in 21 of the 33 songs. Someone give me an "OY!" I'm not sure that I would call what I'm doing dancing, yet, but I'm working on it!

I absolutely adore every minute of it, though. I am having the time of my life--and I am learning SO much that I would never have been able to learn anywhere else. It helps that I am surrounded by some top-notch musical theatre performers; they are so good to me, and I really feel like everyone's got my back. Considering the talent in the room, it could be filled with a bunch of pills, but it's not; the cast is filled with talented, supportive, friendly, funny, wonderful people, and I think that is why I am falling so in love with this work.

Tonight gave me a vision of where we are going...and we are heading down an incredibly interesting, cool, fabulous path. This party is absolutely wild, and the people in it are interesting, scary, funny, endearing, sad, lovely, sexy and gorgeous.

Next week we move into the theatre space to begin running the whole show--and I cannot wait! Next week cannot get here soon enough for me. Unfortunately, I've got to cool my heels until Monday because I'm not called until then. I will spend my time learning lines and music and dancing around my house (each of the kids had a comment about me being in my dancing shoes when they came home from school, and I was thinking, "You should have seen me earlier!")

Right now there is no place I'd rather be than with these people, in this show, getting ready to move into the theatre. At this moment in time, I feel so confident in Queenie's shoes, and just like her I feel like, "This is what I was born to do!"

No limits. No boundaries. No compromise.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Maybe I Like It This Way...

Generally I am a "straight play" actress, which means that the work I do is primarily in dramas and comedies, as opposed to being an actress who works primarily in musicals. I can sing and I am a good mover, but...

Well, Queenie is changing all of that for me. Frankly, there are LOTS of people who still say, "I didn't know you could sing," to which I answer, "In another life, I was actually a music major," although that is not quite the first thing that comes to mind at the moment. Memory is a funny thing.

There is a part of me who likes to think that being comfortable is the preferable way to live, but more and more it is proven to me (by me) that what I really crave is getting outside of my comfort zone and taking a risk. A life lived on the edge is a life worth living--or, at the very least, it is a life worth attempting to live!

This work of THE WILD PARTY is hard work, but it is oh, so worth it. I come home complaining sometimes about how difficult everything is, but then I have to admit that I wouldn't have it any other way. I am WAY outside of my comfort zone, but I don't think I would be happy anywhere else.

Last week was particularly rough for me on several levels, and at one point I knew I was going to cry. I made sure to not cry in rehearsal, because, well, I really just can't stand that kind of self-absorption, but I did *almost* cry in front of someone who, thank God, would not let me get away with that kind of bull-shit.

This week is different. I feel as though I am coming into my own and that I am beginning to really get a grasp on QUEENIE and who I am in that role. I am surrounded by amazing artists who support and encourage, but who also challenge me to kick it all up a notch. I have a music director who really knows where this story is going and how we're going to get there and and assistant director who pays attention to every moment, every word, every note. Sometimes I think that without our stage manager we would have no record of what we have done!

I am in good hands, and I am excited. I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and that I will be going to places I have never been before in this show! I spend a great deal of time crawling out of my skin because it is all so foreign to me...

But just like QUEENIE, maybe I like it this way. No. Just like QUEENIE, I KNOW that I like it this way.

No Limits, No Boundaries, No Compromise,